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ravenblanc
08-22-2008, 07:57 PM
the sun has died
night takes hold
hunger wakened
by the cold
swirl of smoke
through the tinder
searching,seeking
that perfect cinder
impatient now,
a feast awaits
ahhhh,a flame
licks through the grates.

Bard
08-23-2008, 08:29 AM
Differing from your general style imo...

I like the simplicity

Simplicity can stand often, or her own two feet.

She is pretty and frefreshing as well

Well done


Rodney

ravenblanc
08-23-2008, 10:18 AM
Thanks so much.I think you are right about it beng different..it 's the start of a longer piece...the rest of which is still scurrying around in my mind trying to get out.

Maybe I should just leave it be...simplicity sounds good right now.

Bard
08-23-2008, 10:48 AM
Thanks so much.I think you are right about it beng different..it 's the start of a longer piece...the rest of which is still scurrying around in my mind trying to get out.

Maybe I should just leave it be...simplicity sounds good right now.



NO! It cannot be done!

It will dance about in your mind in haunting fashion if you prematurely execute her...futhermore Raven

If it was designed as a beginning, then you are obligated, nay, commited to continue.

The 'art' and 'heart' demand that of a poet, artist, writer and singer of hearts.