View Full Version : Indecision

09-24-2005, 06:26 PM
Sometimes your life just rolls along
Like a truck with a heavy load
And then one day out of the blue
Your standing next to someone new

I have heard you try to tell me
About the dreams you keep inside
But in the corners of your eyes
Are the other ones you try to hide

I have felt your Indecision
When my arms are around you
Your not sure where this may go
Directions aren't that clear I know

Theres a path off of the road
Walk with me We'll take it slow
So many things I want to know
About You


09-24-2005, 07:42 PM
Very nice. http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b72/patio05/smilies/73624f5a.gif

Mr. Lemon Pocket
09-26-2005, 12:42 PM
Think about some of the words you've used here. Example:

just---if life is rolling so heavy, is it "just" rolling, or is just a throw away.

I assume this is a song? It's good overall i think, but little things like "just" and "try" seem like throw away words and when eliminated could maybe lend the words some more authority and power.

Nice job, Tao