PDA

View Full Version : miss you much...


CooCooTheLooseScrew
09-30-2005, 12:51 AM
This is an excert from a piece I just wrote... it's way to long to lay out here. To fill you in before you read, Saturday the 17th I lost a cousin and a friend. She passed at the age of 27. An un-natural death.
__________________________________________________ _____________




You looked like sleeping beauty...Angela
In white garment surrounded by dolphin statues and flowers
I wasn't ready to see you at rest...Angela...none of us were

We all have lost it sense, gained it, only to lose again realities touch
We all are so heart broken...Angela...We all will miss you much

I'm torn to pieces everytime I look at Nicky...He's in so much pain
You know how much he loved you...Angela...For him I am afraid

You were everything to him...He lived to keep you safe
He blames himself now...Angela...he will never be the same

Remember when...remember then...those dark hours...those of shame
Remember when you called him...Angela...He always came
Remember when your house was full of thugs and drugs and over run
You called Nicky Angela...and your brother never swayed
"Nicky I need your help...Nicky please i'm scared, they won't leave...they've been here for days and they won't leave!!"
I remember Angela...
I remember Five foot nothin of little brother kickin in your front door with the Nine cocked ready to Rambo the first muthafuckka that batted an eyelash at'em
I remember the look on they're faces...but more importantly... I remember the look on your face...Angela...you were saved
Remember how he Paraded around that house guns high dareing someone, anyone to give'em a reason...Angela...You were his reason
Remember what he said Angela?? I do...
"This is my Sister....THIS...THIS IS MY SISTER!!!...This is my Sisters House!!!! Get the fuck out now!!!! And if you come back!!!! I'm comeing back!!! And if I come back!!!! I'm buckin everyone!!!!"
He meant every word Angela...and everyone...including me and you...knew it....
They left Ang...and they never came back....

There were so many times...so many differen't times he was your savior
But the last...the last he was unable...and now your gone

When they called him to tell him you were dead...at 4am sunday morning...from Natalia's phone
He thought it was you Angela...He thought it was you calling from her phone
Insted it was that piece of shit John..." Nicky, Your sisters dead, Call the police department if you want any information" click....
Can you imagine that Angela...he thought it was you

You were his reason...and now he's lost...filling himself with blame and rage....
I hope you saw him...Angela...when they lowered you into the grave
I pray that sometime soon...you visit him and let him know
That you know how much he loved you...and that it's ok that he lets go
I can't bare to lose you both....nobody can

You looked like sleeping beauty...Angela
In white garment surrounded by dolphin statues and flowers
I wasn't ready to see you at rest...Angela...none of us were

We all have lost it sense, gained it, only to lose again realities touch
We all are so heart broken...Angela...We all will miss you much

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The whole piece goes on to talk about how certain individuals have been dealing with this loss... seperated by the chorus <----for lack of a better word... her brother nicky is more than just a cousin to me...he's my best friend... we were all close...

__________________________________________________ _________

Love your loved ones people.... here today....gone tomarrow

basca
09-30-2005, 06:56 AM
Coo I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Bard
09-30-2005, 08:49 AM
Coo,

I'm speechless,

I'm moved

I wept

This is good fucking raw writing, it took more courage than I possesss I'm thinking.

Yes, life is so fragile. Let em know you love em while they are here.

I have seldom been so moved by writing, don't know why, just was,

I do know why, it was your sincerity I felt

A gift few own in my estimation.

Jesus, man, I'm sorry, for your loss, wtf

Peace to her brother I pray.

Your writing compelled me, to look at a subject matter I did not want to, yet read every word, that, is a gift.

You reach down to the bottom of folks hearts

even, when they gaurd against that

A man told me once, it was the sign of the seanachie.

To be able to make folks read what you want them to see, a gift.

CooCooTheLooseScrew
09-30-2005, 11:25 AM
Thank you both for reading....

When I wrote the whole piece...it was a free write...I edited it to give it a poetic cadance... reading back... I don't think it was necessary... I think I should have just left it in the raw... perhaps i'll post more...

Sir Bard,

Your feelings about this writing mean much... I appreciate your words.


as for me... i am wailing.

Omega
09-30-2005, 11:37 AM
CooCoo, I am so sorry for your loss. I read that with a huge lump in my throat.

IndianPrincessSIP
09-30-2005, 11:46 AM
Coo~
In you I have sensed, gentleness. In you I have sensed, loyalty, love.
If I have seen that, then those in your life, have known it, more.
May God comfort your heart.

Take care,
friend.

IP

CooCooTheLooseScrew
09-30-2005, 11:34 PM
Thank you IP...

a heartfelt thank you unto you princess

Poodles
10-01-2005, 02:16 PM
:tiphat --My Dear God that is so beautiful