PDA

View Full Version : Deja Vu


Wanna
10-26-2007, 06:32 AM
I know this place

this place inside me where I hide all I hold dear

where my face wears a false smile

where my eyes reflect emptiness

where I am forever cold

I have been here before

years ago with you

the words that come from your mouth

repeats of those days

when I wanted so badly to be free

you kept holding me squeezing the life

right out of my soul

I remember these tears

I have cried them before

while you touched and made yourself at home

on my flesh

all the while I cringed

feeling the vomit build in the back of my throat

I hear the words you win in a broken voice

so cracked and so beaten

and I realize it is my voice

I know this place

it was my enemy then but I gave up

unable to find the will to fight

I took the poison up into my brain

and it all went away

no more cringing

no more defeat

all was well

this is where the deja vu ends

I won't take the poison you offer this time

I won't give up and give in

I have my will to fight

you just won't see it until it is too late

and I am gone

safe in my element

no more deja vu

Bard
10-26-2007, 10:35 AM
Nice to see ya Wanna :winky

Interesting and unusual writes...

I hope to see more.

Thanks

Wanna
10-26-2007, 11:17 AM
Thanks Bard. Life is getting hectic these days.Writing is few and far between.
I have more but these I selected because of the differing styles.
I am just beginning to reconnect with the poet side of me.I haven't written in years- and I do mean years.

Nice to stretch the mind while stretching the fingers lol!

Bard
10-26-2007, 11:48 AM
Thanks Bard. Life is getting hectic these days.Writing is few and far between.
I have more but these I selected because of the differing styles.
I am just beginning to reconnect with the poet side of me.I haven't written in years- and I do mean years.

Nice to stretch the mind while stretching the fingers lol!


I quit writing poetry at 18

Didnt write again till 47.

Enjoy the journey

Wanna
10-26-2007, 12:32 PM
Words

amazing how much power is in a sentence
how one sentence can take me from the tower of strength
to the depths of despair
defeated
all the wind knocked right out of me
"I can not live without you"
You are not living with me
and I am not living with you is my reply.
I hear you say those words one more time
and in that instant I resent my son for being
the kryptonite to my superman
I look at your eyes and I know you would do just that
I hear my son's screams and I know I can't go
not now
I look at you again and I think how much easier it would be
if you had hit me with fists
that would have been so preferable
I feel what a woman feels when her rapist is in the same room
as her child
and she complies because she knows it will hurt her child less that way
I look again and I see you as my rapist
using my child against me to hold me captive
to keep me under your weight
and my love for you dies without a sound.

Wanna
10-26-2007, 12:34 PM
I wrote all the way up until I got on meth. Hadn't written anything since that time-
until this past summer.

Words is another I wrote the same day as Deja Vu.
Only fitting it share the space.

The journey isn't always pleasant but it is always interesting- most times surprising- occasionally breathtaking.
It's life.
off to nap before work.

ravenblanc
11-04-2007, 11:42 PM
I enjoyed reading all four pieces but I think I like this "Deja Vu" one best..something about the flow of it makes it seem more real to me. I hope you will post more of your work in the future. :flowers

Wanna
11-05-2007, 11:06 AM
:blush Thanks Raven.

and I will. I have a couple going on now but no days off from work yet to play.
Maybe tomorrow- maybe.
I'd love a day off to myself.