View Full Version : Among the flames

11-07-2007, 07:50 AM
tumultuous currents beneath
the tranquil surface
poisonous darts hiding
behind the words
daggers disguised as roses
complete with perfume
colored green under the
robe of purple velvet
secreting a festering
cold black heart
common bonds portrayed
as silver threads
in reality a most
lethal garrote of steel
waiting for the opportunity
poised close to my neck,
lingering by my flesh
twitching to be pulled tight
to strangle my airways
and deny me my
illuminated life force
demonic succubus sent here
to drain me dry
for sure a match
forged in hell
may you burn
there in torment
feeling quite at home amongst the flames

11-07-2007, 10:22 AM
Nice to see you writing again.................

And nice to see more of your stuff.............

11-07-2007, 11:25 AM
this one is kinda dark and cold -
but yeah I like it.
I think I am improving a bit.

Thanks Bard - I had a day off today and this was just floating around in ribbons above my head.
Played hell reaching up and grabbing the suckers.
slippery little things.

11-12-2007, 08:25 PM
I like the words you use

I think your a great poet

Look forward to reading more

11-13-2007, 06:03 AM
:flowers Thanks Salsa.
I don't know how great I am- that one can be debated for sure lol!
but thanks for the vote of confidence.
I am glad you connected with my words. That to me means I did it right.
The whole point of writing is to connect with others.
Let them see a bit of themselves in your work.

I know I am enjoying it. I can see improvement.
Now that I have more time off, maybe I can play around a bit more.
Only this time a light and whimsical one- maybe.
I may have to listen to Decorating the moonlight again LOL!
Your songs are so much fun. I like them - makes me smile.

11-16-2007, 08:15 AM
If your intent was to create a mood of suspense and anxiety it worked for me..felt like the moment one leaps off the cliff on a bungee only to look up and see one's enemy with a knife...and the thoughts as the bungee stretches ever downward.
Interesting stuff. :happy

11-16-2007, 11:05 AM
way kewl - :flowers

Raven, when I wrote it it was more out of a sense of betrayal-
a person who had appeared to me as a friend when in reality that person was secretly envious- coming towards me out of jealously and black- rather than goodness and light.
Hindsight is 20/20 - that is where I came from emotionally. I never felt the suspense as I was always blinded to the danger.
I never saw it coming until after the hit-

there is for sure the anxiety level there, I see it now.
Thank you for sharing your feels- way kewl.