View Full Version : "The Fifties & Friendship"

11-05-2005, 12:18 PM
Friday, April 18, 2003

The Fifties and Friendship

Oh I know, some are grumbling even as we speak, saying damn, them old duffers do go on and on with that remembrance and nostalgia thing do they not? Guilty I reckon, I as well might confess to the older tag too! And yes, I think my first sign of aging was indeed, when I started remembering the good old days!

The fifties indeed had their special charm laced in simplicity to be sure, yet we had our own problems of time, Viet Nam, race issues and reformation of monumental importance to all, women's rights unfolding and blossoming against the war torn sounds of daily news from Viet Nam, yes Viet Nam, we seem to drag a war along with us into tomorrow often, do we not? Yes, from generation to generation like a red wagon trailing behind a young child.

I think the most decisive difference I can put my finger on however, separating and distinguishing us a people now verses then, would be this, we were not afraid to be friendly and make friends back then!

Alas, today finds little time to nurture new friendships it would seem, with all so focused on the pursuit of the gold coin. I actually over the years have heard many make statements such as this concerning making new friends, My dance card is full! My schedule quite full permits it not! My plate of friendship is full enough! Geez, when did becoming friends become such a burden I wonder this day?

I mean to me, being a simple man yes, if we don't have time for friends, well then we are just to damn busy! Life unfolds only once in blossoming display and passage, friends remain the very pedals upon the rose! Yes, roses have thorns, as people do also, often pricking us in our attempt to become close in friendship. Yet the man with no friends is surely dwelling in a field of thorns only!

We used to not be afraid of our new neighbor, to put out our hand in sincerity and greeting, followed by a dinner invitation to boot! No longer does such affable behavior seem to cloak mans walk, for now we go out of our way to ignore such new folk, deeming it safer, and less messy!

Yes, messy, just like kids! What a pain in the ass they are to behold! Yet..the Bible says he who has his quiver full, is blessed indeed! Yes, the reward in part for parenting remains this, in exchange for your sacrifice, you are rewarded in your golden years hopefully, by being surrounded by offspring that care! Indeed as life was designed! Whilst the man who couldn't be bothered with such an incredulous weave of messy, in his golden years merely pines away in stark solitude, hollow and dead.

Yes, friendship demands attention, compassion and time as well, but in its absence, I ask you, what replaces that well, and resevoir of heart? Yes, the well of joy, nurturing, camaraderie as well, for surely the man with no friends has a tidy and neat life to be sure, yet...inside living with no human hand upon his heart.

Yes, indeed the fifties, where men still shook hands in sincerity, and a commitment to friendship and family still stood tall in priority of heart.
Some indeed mistake friendship with acquaintances, borrowing trouble in heaps, for an acquaintance is not a friend, nor is it where one should seek. You cant turn an aquaitance into a friend, for it is not to be! For a friend is something magical, that is often birthed in a moment spontaneity, yes, a friend is made with the first press of the flesh, or handshake if you please! Yes, we know intuitively that we have found a like heart and spirit.

A fool discerns not the difference between a friend and bar mate, so his search shall always fall short, for a friend is something far more special than an ear and sounding board. A friends sticketh closer than a brother, most can count on one hand.

Yes, some have experienced acute abandonment from such so called friends, I as know well, in this trek of disappointment! Yet, if it causes us to not try again, then their abandonment has shackled us in bondage not to be short lived. If a bad friend offends us, causing us to be too gun shy to brave the water again, then surely that bad friend has impacted our life forever, for we allowed him such due power...

I have few, I had many so called friends once! I feel I have always been able to distinguish the good from the bad, the real from the fake, the true from the false! Yet may I state in complete candor and confession this day, that despite my skill sharpened in the arena of discernment, I have still made bad calls I fear! And been disappointed to the point of shock and tears.

Yes, it actually launched and catapulted me into complete isolation and hermit type existence for years, but you know what I discovered? I had given these fair weathered friends to much power indeed, for the only thing worse than being betrayed, abandoned, and forgotten, is to allow its dark power, to cover and paint us for life, in solitude and fear as a result.

Yep, make friends, we get hurt, don't make friends, and we stay hurt and alone forevermore, the choice remains ours, may we choose wisely this day...

Rodney Evan

11-05-2005, 01:16 PM
Bard, I do believe that this has got to be the most meaningful bunch of letters tossed on a page that I have read from you to date !!!!!

My sister and I were talking about this very thing on our morning walk. She was telling me of how it was in the 50's and how you could run to the store and leave you home unlocked and nothing would be amiss upon return. Even if a neighbor did come in while you were gone, they politely waited in the living room for your return. Folks trusted each other and looked out for one another back then. They shared so much more then than now. If a farmer got sick, then his neighbors took up his chores for him until he was back well again. When a woman went into labor, they could call a neighbor in the middle of the night and have them come sit with the children and look after them while you were gone.

People today move too fast and don't slow down long enough to see the many treasures that God has given us in abundance.

Thanks for the reminder Bard. :flowers


11-05-2005, 01:37 PM

Bard, I do believe that this has got to be the most meaningful bunch of letters tossed on a page that I have read from you to date !!!!!

Thank you Sweet peaz...

11-05-2005, 03:15 PM
There is merit to your words, but your dates are wrong. The 50's were not all that hot and depending on were you lived they were not that good. For the friendship and handshake trust you refer to, you had best drop back a couple of decades to the late 30's and 40's.
There are some amoung us who prefer to be alone, a lobo so to speak, I for one can be counted as a loner. But you are correct in one statement, you can count your true friends on one hand, for if a man should ever need two hands to count he would indeed be a very wealthy man.
I'll leave with this last thought "He who takes to wife,Gives to fate a hostage"
the same thing can be said of friendship.

lake brat
11-05-2005, 10:58 PM
Bard, I do believe that this has got to be the most meaningful bunch of letters tossed on a page that I have read from you to date !!!!!

I'll second that!

Bard, I'm about the same age as you and I agree with your reference to the 50's and having friends and being neighborly. In fact, in small town mid-America this easily extended into the 60's. My parents would get together once or twice a month with friends or neighbors to share a potluck supper, visit, and probably play some card games. When I was first married in the mid 60's we had a small group of friends that did the same thing but that only continued for a couple of years.

After the Kennedy assasinations and the Vietnam War it seems we became more self-centered and did not reach out to make or keep friendships alive and well. Many of us felt venerable and were afraid to commit to true friendships for fear of being hurt ourselves. I know this is true of myself and at my age now I deeply regret it. I honestly have no true lifelong friends, only many acquaintances. Too many years trying to raise the "best" kids, making the almighty $$, and spending it on selfish indulgences.

Getting older is a bitch! I better get busy and get to know my neighbors and not spend so much time reading chat boards!

lake brat

06-29-2011, 09:48 PM
Bump. Due to the fact I just ran across the old piece from 2003.